28 years old, hangover hits like a bus

 what's that meme with the dog, he's mad because day to day everything's the same, but when you look back everything's different?

 

yeah, i know it all. it's not a secret. 

 

 

it's amazing, i don't feel any different since i was a teenager, and don't think i act any different. but when i think about things i did, i know i would respond totally different now. 

security is really, really nice. i know i'll have food tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. there are some things i miss, but i'm not sure if i'd really miss them if i traveled back in time tomorrow. it turns from something with bizarre, sharp edges and nonsensical angles, bright colors, to a nice square box and you know the contents. maybe it's up to you to paint it now?

 one thing i so, so wish i could go back in time and tell my younger self is very simple. someone is telling you to do something or giving advice to you. LOOK AT THEIR LIFE. is it something you want to emulate? no? THEN DON'T LISTEN TO THEM. i could have saved myself so, so much trouble following that rule.

 i wish i could be honest and tell people. i hate the social game, i'm bad at it and i think it is totally unnecessary. i want to tell them, i know the way i come across, it's because i was homeschooled and because of the way i look and sound. i also actively try to be understanding and approachable. i know it will take you some time to understand that i AM on your level and CAN understand what you're talking about. and if i feel like you're disrespecting me, i will become disinterested in you and leave. i hate how much of a person is tied to the way they look. i know the way you think about me.

 i want to dissolve any connection between my body and my self. 

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